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Mental Health Awareness Week

As I write this, it is #mentalhealthawarenessweek which is of course a fantastic cause to help raise the awareness on this subject which unfortunately is so rife in the world we live in right now.

If you have never been close to someone who struggles with poor mental health – by the way I don’t mean someone who has the odd bad day, I’m talking about someone who has been diagnosed with anxiety, depression or bipolar etc – you will simply never understand what it’s like to be close to that until someone you love encounters that and of course that can only make it more real. The real challenge is for those right in the thick of it.

Now, this is not the place for me to tell you what to do, or how to avoid it or how to fix it. It’s not my area of profession. I do believe that the things I do and the way I live my life supports my mental health and I am lucky to say that I do not suffer with poor mental health. I have bad moments but I am pretty good at changing my state very quickly and I am grateful for that.

One thing I think that is important regardless is to have a high self-worth and to be able to appreciate what you love about yourself because…

Without loving yourself you will never be able to be truly happy in life.

The go-to thought regarding loving yourself is often image based… “I wish I was taller” or “I wish I was thinner” or “I wish I didn’t have stretch marks.” It could be anything, but I wanted to share with you 20 things that I love about my personality…

Some of these are little more detailed than others, but when writing, I felt the need to elaborate on some of the points more than others.

I urge you once you have read this, to write your own list, you don’t even need to share with anyone but I promise you it will help you improve your self-worth.

Here we go!

1. MY OWN COMPANY

I love that I don’t require the presence of others all the time. I find a lot of peace in having time to myself, to think, work, reflect or relax.

2. My drive to improve

I love that I am never fully content with status quo especially with my work. The desire to improve allows me to continually progress as a person and with my business.

I fear the acceptance of mediocrity because I feel that is where true boredom arises from and I wish never to be bored with my life.

3. MY ability to walk in other peoples shoes

This is something I think a lot of people struggle to do and I have been blessed with ability to always try to understand the other person’s perspective regardless how extreme the situation.

It can frustrate me when others are quick to judge without considering what that person might be going through.

4. My punctuality & discipline

Both have always come very easy to me, in my circle of friends I am known as it one who is always almost irritatingly on time/early.

5. MY natural introvert tendencies

Positive traits of natural introverts include the ability to focus on one task, to be trustworthy, to be observant and to be easy to please. They are also known to be committed to their goals. I also love that over the years I have developed the ability to ‘switch on’ extrovert characteristics in environments where that is required which is something I really struggled with when I was younger.

6. MY measured approach

I don’t dive in all guns blazing into any situation. I take my time with decisions and I weigh up the pro’s and con’s which usually leads to the right decision even though it takes longer than it might for others.

7. My ability to see the best in people

I see so many people shoot others down after meeting them once or maybe after one bad decision they have made. The truth is we all make mistakes and some more than others, but judging someone on a bad call in my opinion seems a little harsh, it also takes up a lot of space in your head. I always try to find the best in people and not judge them.

8. i don’t need public approval

I like a ‘well done’ just as much as the next person but some people simply crave attention by putting their new car on social media or maybe even taking their clothes off for likes… I’m glad that I can take pleasure from a thank you or a well done in private and I don’t need to use attention to get approval or satisfaction.

That being said, I love to share social proof about my business e.g. client feedback or testimonials but that is simply to share with those that are considering working with me to show them I can deliver on what I promise.

9. MY ability to trust

I hear so often that people struggle with the ability to trust someone due to things that have happened in their lives previously. I’ve had my fair share (as anyone has) of reasons to make trust difficult but I’m a believer that you cannot allow issues from the past e.g. childhood or previous relationships hamper your ability trust someone else. When you cannot trust you are literally dis-empowering yourself and not allowing yourself to go all-in and be happy.

10. MY positive outlook

It’s not always easy to be positive and I will be the first to say that I haven’t always been a positive person. I do believe it is something you can learn, you can instil it as a core belief to try and see the best in situations. I like to think of myself as a problem solver, I see an issue as something that I CAN & WILL overcome. My ability to step back and not panic hugely helps me with this.

I would just like to note that there are always negatives, without that we wouldn’t be able to weigh up decisions and risk assess. I just think it is important to try and become a problem solver and not a whiner.

11. i think before i speak

Being someone who can take time to assess, I benefit from the ability to monitor people’s body language, the way they hold themselves etc. I am usually not the first to speak, but when I do speak it will always be well thought-out and add value to the situation. Being first in this case, usually isn’t in my opinion, where you want to be.

12. I’m not the loudest in the room

A fantastic quote from one of my favourite films…

“THE LOUDEST IN THE ROOM IS THE WEAKEST IN THE ROOM”

American Gangster – 2007

I love this quote, it can be interpreted in different ways, in the film it is outlining that making yourself stand out based on what you wear will attract unwanted attention. I like to relate it to the typical work meeting where the ‘idiot’ that feels the need to shout out at any opportunity because they think it makes them look good toward their bosses actually just makes that person look like an idiot.

I don’t dress to get attention or shout out to stand out, I love that I’m happy whether I get the attention or not and my self-worth is not controlled by whether or not someone else likes everything I do. This once again, is incredibly empowering.

13. i’m resilient

I can take a lot before I break. I’m patient, I work hard and I’m incredibly resistant to quitting. Many will throw the towel in at the first hurdle, many PT’s after the first time no one asks a question on a live, or maybe they wouldn’t even do the live. When my mind is set on something, I go after it. If there is a setback, I deal with it head on and keep moving forward. I believe that any other way, you will never be able to make progress.

“You should move towards the resistance, not away from it.”

14. i always find a way

Similar to being resilient, I will see a problem as an opportunity to learn. If we rarely encounter problems in life or if we do not challenge them then our ability to deal with problems diminishes. I take great pleasure in often being the leader when problems arise whilst everyone else is arguing or complaining.

15. MY ability to think rationally

How often do you see people losing their heads in pretty basic situations e.g. in a queue or in the event of just something not quite going their way. Firstly I question,

Is this within my control? Can I directly affect what’s happening?

If it isn’t then I quickly realise that there is no point worrying about something I cannot change. If I can change it, I will use my patient, problem solving mindset to come up with a solution again normally before others have finished complaining about being a victim.

16. I don’t rely upon materialistic items

A lot of people judge their self-worth by the size of their house or whether or not they have a BMW or a Mercedes (of which they usually park in a disabled bay). Maybe they worry about wearing designer clothes, you get the idea. They buy these things to impress others which is incredibly shallow. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy nice things, but I don’t place my sole worth or value on what I own. Buying things will not help what is going on in your head, no matter how much you spend (or get into debt for likes on ‘The Gram’)

17. i don’t feel the need to change my appearance

Although I did say this is personality based, I feel this is relevant. I hate it when I see people beat themselves up about their bodies and get themselves to the point that they need plastic surgery, or worse still they edit their photos for social media – THIS WILL NEVER EVER HELP SOLVE THE ROOT CAUSE OF UNDERLYING LOW CONFIDENCE ISSUES.

Growing up I wanted to be taller, being at a modest (to say the least) 5ft7, I could have continued to beat myself up, especially when you get all the short jokes, not to mention the ginger stuff!

I have scars all over my chest and shoulders from when I had acne real bad as a kid, people regularly approach me in the locker room, point at it and say… “WHAT’S THAT?” If I allowed that to continue to bother me then I probably wouldn’t feel great.

A little tip, it’s not the bit on the outside that you must deal with, you must fix the inside, then what’s on the outside really doesn’t matter.

18. if i can help you, i will

The main reason I love my job so much is because I get to help people and make them feel better and there is no greater feeling. There are of course occasions where I have to metaphorically drag someone through it but often that can yield the greatest rewards.

Helping someone can be something as simple as holding the door open, asking how they are, or any random act of kindness.

I want to make a special mention to my client Michelle Tyrer who is always at hand to help and support my client community and Facebook groups from offering strangers gym equipment to even offering to social distanced exercise with them in a park. Michelle your desire to help others is absolutely commendable, so thank you!

19. MY love for dogs

If you don’t love dogs, you are missing out big time. Unconditional love at it’s finest.

20. failure doesn’t stop me

My mentor recently dropped this quote when he kindly agreed to guest on my podcast when he said…

“There is no such thing as failure, it’s just feedback.”

Phil Graham

I have touched on this above with being resilient and solving problems. I love this analogy though, think back to being a child… You had to fail in order to learn how to try again or in Phil’s words you had to get feedback in order to plan how you would approach the same situation again e.g. learning to walk or maybe more recently, learning to drive a car.

I am prepared to get things wrong the first, second and third time, because I know that the passion will eventually take me to where I want to be – providing I use that priceless feedback obtained.

To Sum Up…

I’ve created this blog to remind you that it’s important to remember all of the things that you love about you! We are so quick so focus on what we don’t like and what we would change and it takes our attention away from what we are actually good at. When we realise or remember what we are actually good at, we realise, actually, things aren’t all that bad after all.

If you have enjoyed this blog and you like the way I write; maybe you liked my philosophy on life, I urge you to click the below button. If you do, I will email you at least five times each week with something educational, inspirational or motivational – you will also receive a FREE WELCOME GIFT.

Dale Wallace

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